So I get a phone call mid-day at work from the wife. "There's a squirrel in the pool".
"What?... Swimming?"
"No, it's dead"
Here I am thinking "what the fuck am I supposed to do about it right now?" but since tact is my middle name I told her I would take care of it when I get home. Actually I think my exact words were something along the lines of "put the dog in there and let him take care of the damn thing".
I picked up one of those blow-up wading pools last month for the kids. It's about 12x6 and around a foot deep, maybe a bit more. I suppose the squirrel needed a drink as dry as it has been. Most of them have been drinking out of the goldfish pond but this one must have felt adventurous. The pool is rubber and smooth. I am surprised that the damn thing didn't rip it up trying to get out. I don't know how sharp their claws are but I have always imagined them to be pretty sharp and nasty. Fucking tree rats.
The pool was nasty and in need of draining and cleaning anyway so you could see the little thing's footprints all over the dirt on the bottom of the pool. I can just imagine the nasty little thing trying to tread water with it's little nasty head up until it got too tired. Damn, once I put it like that It doesn't sound as funny as it did thinking about it. I wonder if I put a plate with nuts floating in the pool if I could get rid of the rest of the population in my backyard? Have little waterlogged squirrel bodies filling up the dumpster daily. Hell, I could probably get enough to make a squirrel hat...
I got home and grabbed a couple of those plastic Wal-mart bags and got to working on drowned body disposal as the damn thing had been floating there all day at that point. Tied it up good and tight, double bagged it, stuck it in a box and dropped the bastard in my trash can. Trash Can Man's gonna get a little maggoty surprise on Wednesday. That'll teach you to leave fucking trash lying on my lawn...
One less tree rat to worry about eating my tomato plants...the bastards
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