Some folks dance the Mambo, the Waltz, the Jitterbug. Some like the Macerena. There are even folks that dance with the stars on TV now. I don't dance.

Often.

Although today there was the Poo Poo Dance.

What's that you say?

I thought you would never ask.

The Poo Poo Dance is when you are about eight miles from the house and you have to shit so bad you are driving the car in a standing position trying to squeeze your ass cheeks together so that nothing will slip when you hit that next bump. God forbid you think you have to squeeze a little fart out and get a little more than you bargained for. Ever see anyone driving while standing, aside from someone operating heavy equipment?

You run REALLY fast from the car to the house while your neighbors wonder just what the fuck it is you are doing. Then the door doesn't want to open while you are hopping up and down and the key gets stuck in the damn lock when you try to get it back out and you finally get in the bathroom trying to run through the house with your pants around your ankles. Shit spews before you even get seated properly so as to create a mighty big splash so you don't know if you have crapped yourself or not.

Once you finally get finished with your business you have to check your shorts for chunks and skid marks in order to assure yourself that you really didn't crap your pants.

Ever done the Poo Poo Dance?

Me either, I was just wondering...