Recently in smoking Category

Unless something comes up over at CNN that I want to post about I am getting ready to hit the sack. I just realized however that I had not taken the time to post about getting my blood drawn this morning.

Having my blood drawn seems to have turned into a full-blown goatfuck ordeal over the last few years.

The last few times I have gone they have had to stick me several times and after four or five times digging around in my arm with a needle they take it out of my hand. Shit, they can stick one right in a vein and no blood comes out.

Guess I am actually dead and just don't know it...

Anyway, I made sure to drink a big glass of water prior to going to bed last night and then drank two or three more when I got up this morning so that I wouldn't be dehydrated when they went to poke me.

Fuck all, it still took three times. Here's this woman digging around my fucking arm with a big old needle saying "tell me if it hurts". Shit, unless you rip something loose I'm not saying a damn thing, just get the blood.

She finally stuck one in the top of my hand and it came right out.

Either I need to go in and just slash away with my pocket knife to help them out or start drinking water like a week before hand. My arm is still sore where she jammed the gottdamned needle into my arm.

All to get my cholesterol checked so my Doc can renew my prescription next month. What a damned dog and pony show.

....

So I am still fighting the smoking. I cut down to almost nothing and finally quit for a couple of weeks and then started having one or two here and there. I have had a pretty hard month at work. Not an excuse but I guess working 17 days straight kicked my ass because I have purchased cigarettes twice.

Haven't had one in two days now and it sucks quitting again because I am going through the same damned withdrawals I went through last month. Doh!

I am starting to seriously consider getting hypnotized but I am afraid that I will come out of there barking like a chicken or whatnot...

Oh by the way...since Eric's out of town I stole the keys to his site and managed to cross-post this over there as well...

So I stopped on the way to work yesterday and bought a pack of cigarettes without even thinking about. Since I had them I smoked them. I've been doing pretty damned good the last three weeks. I think I may have had about five smokes the last 21 days and most of them were on the front end.

Anyhow, I smoke about seven or eight of the damned things and felt like shit last night, both physically and emotionally. I was pretty pissed off at myself.

Fast forward to this afternoon. I was in the middle of blogging and realized that I had a cigar on top of my desk. A nasty old strawberry cigar that someone gave me. So I decided it was a cigar, it would be OK to have it...

Anyhow, I go outside and take my camera with me so I can get new pictures of the flowers and whatnot. I'll upload them to my Flickr account for your perusal later. I got sidetracked taking pictures of the flowers, plants and new baby birds that are living under my deck that I forgot to smoke it. I made it back inside and sat down at my desk and thought "did I just smoke that?" Hell, I still don't know but I'm pretty damn sure I didn't smoke it. I can't find the fucking thing either. I must have set it down outside but I can't find it. While I was out there (cameraless) I came across this guy.

Anyone know what kind of snake this is? My first instinct was to stomp the fucker into pulp in my backyard but I decided to take pictures of it instead. Of course my camera was inside so all I had with me was my blackberry. I got a few seconds of video as well that I sent to youtube. It seems to take them forever to process emailed vids though.

I let Mr snake go on about his merry way while I continued the search for that elusive fucking little cigar. I never did find the damned thing either. I guess I just don't need to smoke today :(

I started making sure to take my Chantix again. I still have four weeks left so I might as well take advantage of it. Right around the time I run out is when we go to Disney World so I will be away from work (and smokes) for ten days.

It's about time to go get the girls from school. I should be able to take a bit of time and post some more later this afternoon.

So the mobile blogging works. I don't see using it all of the time but it is pretty cool. I like being able to post from the iPod Touch but I think that some of the image paths in my configuration for the iphone plugin are screwed up. The Utterz stuff seems OK as well but I wish that it was more configurable. It'll do for what I want though.

Today was pretty uneventful, so I really don't have a hell of a lot to bitch about. I managed to get out of work by 2:25, worked out, tanned, ran on the elliptical for 35 minutes, washed the car and picked up the girls. WHEW! It was actually a pretty busy afternoon.

It's been twelve days since I quit smoking now. I've probably had a total of three smokes since then. Although I've quit I have had a few hits of smokes now and then. I am starting to breathe much better and since I've been working out I have a heck of a lot more energy as well.

There are a few things I got via email that I'll most likely post about tonight, other than that life is pretty good right now.

You know what I've noticed about not smoking. Today is day number six oh by the way. That's not what I've noticed though. My house smells like shit!

I don't know if it's eight years of smoking in it or if my dog is just making it smell but damn! I'm starting to smell all kinds of stuff that I couldn't a week ago and you know what? I may just have to get some nose plugs because most of what I have smelled so far sucks. It's enough to make me want to smoke again, although right now ANYTHING is enough to make me want to smoke.

Know what else? I'm blogging nekked right now. Probably more than you needed to know but that's why you really come here anyway, I know it is. You guys are just waiting for a webcam shot of my ballsack hanging over my computer chair while I merrily type away. I can do that. The wife and girls are in Hilton Head right now. Actually they are in Bluffton but unless you are from the lowlands or visit there often most people don't have a fucking clue as to where Bluffton is, which is due west of Hilton Head Island, on the mainland. The only thing separating the two towns now is the water. If they could build shopping centers on the bridge you'd never notice the difference anymore except that Bluffton doesn't restrict builders quite as much in what they are tearing down. I don't know when they are coming home but since my paycheck won't be in the bank until Friday morning it's a pretty safe bet they will be there until at least Friday.

Hey! Only $1054 left to pay on my Disney trip. I'm taking care of that on Friday and there went a quick five big ones. That pays for just about everything though, except for my gas to get down there. Six nights and seven days. Sweet. I'm looking forward to the trip and judging from the way things have been at work lately I'll damn sure need the vacation. I have two of my managers going on back-to-back vacations in three week, which pretty much means me working 20 days straight. I may manage to get a day off during that time, it just depends on if I am staffed.

So the manager called me this afternoon from the store I was at the last two days. Apparently the waitress I sent home yesterday was upset and the manager wanted an explanation. I told her that when her employees call me five minutes after they should have already been there to tell me they are going to be late, chances are I will send them the fuck home if I can get it covered before they get there. If I can't get it covered, then they get to work. Kind of like the lottery for stupid fucking people that are consistently late.

I went and worked out this afternoon. I ended up skipping yesterday. I got out of work two hours later than I had planned, so I came home and wrote for awhile, planning on going back after I did shift change last night. I got to the gym and there were three or four buff dudes and their girlfriends there all working out and showing off. I didn't even get out of the fucking car. Fat old man syndrome kicked in and I beat a hasty retreat home. I like going early in the day when all of the old fat people are there. Makes me feel much better about myself :) I am much less self-conscious when nobody else is around, so when I can manage to shoot out of work by 2:15 that's the best time, although on my days off last week I went in the morning. That was cool because it's just the owner or his father-in-law working and all the milfs coming in to use the tanning beds. Speaking of tanning, I did that as well today. I sort of varied it though. I worked out on the weights, tanned and then used the elliptical for half an hour. I have been using it for shorter periods of time the couple of occasions that I have tried it and it hasn't really been a big deal but damn I got a workout on it today. I was sweating my ass off. That's a good thing because I need to burn this tire off the middle. I was fine until it told me to go backwards. Backwards? I can barely get on the fucking thing and move in a semi-forward direction and you want me to move backwards? Damn.

So here I sit. Nekked. Munching on microwave Burritos. Can it get any better than this? I suppose if I moved my chair to the front porch that would be better, but most likely short lived.

Getting ready to hit the sack but I wanted to make sure and post before I go to bed. Nothing particularly exciting happened today and I am in a foul mood which is one of the reasons I haven't posted since this morning.

Fortunately the audits came out OK at the one store I mentioned might have some issues today. That's a freaking miracle considering that the waitresses ran the store for 24 hours. Not that I think they are dishonest but too many hands in the pie tend to skew things.

I still haven't smoked and I want one more today than I have all week. I'm just ready to beat someone's ass. I didn't stop and buy a pack although I damn sure wanted to today. When the heck does it start getting easier. 100 hours now. Just over four days since my last cigarette. It's probably a good thing the girls are in another state right now. That worked out pretty well (for them anyway) since I don't have anyone here to pick a fight with.

I'll tell you one thing though, quitting smoking gives you some serious gas. Of course since I severely curtailed the smoking starting about eight weeks ago I have noticed it before but since Friday it's been getting worse. It's fucking rancid too. Smells like something crawled up my ass and died there. Even the dog is staying away from me. I have to keep moving at work so as to not be noticed. That's fine as long as it's silent but once you start getting those noisy walking farts there's just no hiding.

I skipped the gym yesterday so made sure that I went back today. I tried to take it a bit easy on myself today and worked out for a little over half an hour. I am increasing the weights I am lifting with my legs and thighs but haven't been able to do a lot with my upper body yet. It pisses me off because I used to have a lot of upper body strength. Guess that's what I get for 41 sedentary years. I may start doing pushups in the morning as well to help get a bit of strength back in my shoulders and arms.

Did the tanning bed thing again today too. I've only noticed a tiny difference thus far, maybe I need to get them to keep it on longer.

There are some nice benefits to going to the gym. There are quite a few hotties that go as well. Something to look at while I exercise. Just have to make sure to wear the pants with the tent attachment I guess :) Most of them are too damn young but they are nice to look at.

I don't have anything more to bitch about tonight. Now that I napped for two hours this afternoon I'm going to try and get a bit of shut-eye if I can.

I told you it was all about the smokes!!!!!

I happened to stop by Joan of Argghh's place this evening (Primordial Slack) and she had this thing up and like a twit I had to follow the damn thing and find out what my brain scan showed.

You See! Half of them little guys are smoking and the other half looks sad because they AREN'T...

Killing Time...

Killing Time...

KILLING Time...

I've spent most of the day on edge and that almost came to a fruition around two this afternoon when I thought I would be forced to rip a customer's fucking windpipe out of his throat. Then someone else would get to blog about me being on trial. How's that for a laugh?

I wonder if the nicotine withdrawal defense has ever been used...

Anyway, my store that is closest to the house is the one I opened back in October of 2006. Man, time flies.

I took it back, along with another one close by, two weeks ago and I have inherited a few folks that probably should not be working there. Pieces of crap in other words. The day shift is the same on I picked and hired back when we opened but there are some new faces on the evening shift. One of them is this gentleman that runs his mouth so much that if he shut the hell up and moved his arms and legs a bit he might be able to get something done.

From two until four we only have one waitress on the floor because it's generally slow. Today I was closing out my paperwork so that I could leave and I look up out the office window. She's trying to wait on customers and cook at the same time. Where's the cook? Sitting at the fucking high counter jacking his jaws with a customer.

It's not the first time I've gotten onto the kid about doing his work so I just leaned out the door and hollered his name, and told him that the unnamed waitress had customers to wait on so he needed to cook. I left it at that but it was pretty fucking clear what I wanted. I might have been a bit nicer about it but she had already called for his help once while he just blithely ignored her.

A couple of minutes later the asked me to come out front. The customer wanted to speak with me. I was behind one of the booths and he was on the other side. He says to me in a low tone of voice "Maybe you weren't aware of the fact but he was discussing something very serious with me. Perhaps you need to learn not to publicly chastise people. I can make a world of shit for you. You just don't know how much. I used to be a district manager with [your company]".

I was fucking flabbergasted. I let the dude know in no uncertain terms that this wasn't the first time it's happened and that they needed to take care of their pressing business off my clock. I think once he realized that I didn't give a flying fuck about his unshaven scrawny out of work ex-district manager self he decided to get polite with me and shut the fuck up. That or maybe it was the look that came over me like I was getting ready to jump over the booth and cold-cock the bastard. This just would not be the week to fuck with me.

Anyway, I was nice and polite with the guy, so let his ass complain. I've been with them for 21 years and been investigated for embezzlement, racism, favoritism, fucking my waitresses, firing people with undue cause. I've been robbed, threatened by people with knives, broken up fights and cleaned up shit from places you wouldn't believe. Bring it on you stupid fucker.

What really flew all over me was his criticizing the fact that I hollered for the dude to get back on the grill. What the fuck does he know about managing people since he obviously doesn't do it anymore. Of course you don't normally say negative things to people in front of other people, but instructing them as to where they need to be IS one of them, particularly when they haven't been listening to any other way. I hate public embarrassment but that's all some people will react to, particularly if they are self-aggrandizing lying sacks of shit in the first place.

Did I tell you I want a cigarette?

Would a nice big stogie count?

I had two today. Best day yet. I smoked one at eight or nine and then another one around eleven and that's it. I even refrained from bumming a smoke from one of them when I had to go back to shift change a little while ago, but I did make my trip as short as possible.

This has got to be the hardest fucking thing I have ever done in my life. I am eating so much candy I will need to go to lard watchers by the time all is said and done. If given a choice between dying because I'm fat and dying because I smoke, I would rather be skinny.

What do you do with your hands when you don't smoke?

I can only jerk off to Internet porn so much before the damn thing starts hurting. I suppose that's why they have fluff girls at the porn movies. Maybe I need to get one to hide under my desk...

We all gotta dream right?

I'll tell you one thing. This Chantix shit really works. I've tried the patch, gum, lozenges, wellbutrin, all that crap and smoked right along with all of it. I've tried to cut down to the point where I could quit and always ended up lying and smoking more than I said.

I've smoked two to three packs a day for 28 years. Used to smoke Pall Malls, then Winstons, finally switched to Winston Lights a few years ago. That's 408,800 cigarettes at just two packs a day. I don't care what anyone says, it's not something you can just give up if you smoke as much as I do. This stuff has really helped. I had two day and tomorrow if I smoke at all it will only be one and then I'm done.

Unless of course I get convicted of ripping someone's head off and then who gives a fuck if I'm smoking or not.

I'm back to scanning some photos. You can't find cartridges for the printer I use locally anymore. I'm sure that I can probably order them online but I find that the more and more I use it for work I have been wanting a printer anyway.

Since I got a gift cart for Wal-Mart at the awards banquet tonight I decided to use it to buy an HP scanner/copier/printer combo. The prices on these things has dropped immensely. The last time I checked was five or six years ago and they were about three or four times the cost.

Since I now have a scanner that will work with Windows Vista I can start copying all these old pictures. Here's one from the late sixties. That's my great-aunt and myself.

This is about the only thing I am going to post today. As I mentioned, I had a meeting tonight and being as how it's been a long day on top of feeling like shit I am going to bed as soon as my managers call me with their sales and staffing.

I bummed a smoke around 7am, another around 11am and then got one from one of the managers after supper tonight, around 6. Not too bad. I had a pretty hard time with it today and have been in an extremely foul mood but I think I may have forgotten to take the Chantix this morning. I've caught up tonight and maybe tomorrow won't be such a hard day. If it's any worse than today I may end up cussing someone out at work.

Wish me luck as I am going to try and go without having a cigarette at all tomorrow.