Recently in Humor Category

I ran across this over at funnyexamanswers.com

The following question was asked at the University of Copenhagen in a physics exam:

""Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics. For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work uut the height of the skyscraper.

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l/g).

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.

But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Nils Bohr, the first Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics. "

...from JibJab (you have to have Flash installed to see it):

I have a very crude sense of humor. You may not have noticed that here :) but it tends to come out at the most inopportune times. I've been to this jokes site before, it's been online for quite some time now but I occasionally forget about it and need a reminder to head on over. Here's one of my favorites from their bar jokes.

I have actually heard this before in a slightly different version but it always makes me laugh. I guess there are funny jokes and crude jokes. I tend to gravitate more to the crude jokes.

Stole this from Manmade Mag.

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified.

She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

I don't know what it is, but most of the comedians I enjoy are of the slapstick kind. Crude humor also serves me well. Some of my favorite comedians include Robin Williams and Steve Martin, although Gallagher has always been one of my favorites. Was it the smash-o-natic that he used to use? I don't really remember...

Bette Midler is also extremely funny. I discovered Bette in my teens on cable shows and she was also one of my parent's favorite comedians as well. She's a pretty decent actress as well. All of the different roles she has played really show the depth of how much she can do. I would love to get a hold of some Bette Midler tickets and actually she her live at some point. That would make my week.

After writing that post about Lars Vilks drawing Mohammed as a dog I got to thinking about a cartoon that I wanted to do but then I realized how little of an artist I actually am and that I might work on an animated thing for a month and it would still suck...

Thus the fact that there is no cartoon here.

What I wanted to draw was a cage fight. THE CAGE FIGHT OF THE MILLENIUM! Jesus and Mohammed. Think about it for a minute. Mohammed might bring his towelhead self and a big sword but Jesus would have the power of the holy trinity behind him. Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Sort of like religious tag team wrestling. That would be one pay-per-view I would pay to see.

How about George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton? The only problem with that one is that they are so much alike it would end up being a draw as they would keep on cooperating as they already are and get together to come up with a plan to rape the spectators for the rest of their money and control their lives through better government...

Mussolini and Hitler. That would be one I would like to see. Either that or several million Jews against Hitler. 'You think the oven was a bitch, Adolph? Wait there while we collect some stones, bitch!'

Thomas Jefferson and Dick Cheney? Hell, any of the founding fathers and Dick Cheney would work. Maybe that would revolutionize his sense of freedom and propriety, the asshole.

Judge Clarence Thomas and Al Sharpton. I would like to see Clarence Thomas pound the gavel up Sharpton's ass for all of the injustice and pure stupidity he has done for 'his people'. He and the right Reverend Jesse Jackson have set race relations back 100 years with their attitudes of bigotry and hate against all that isn't black. Maybe another tag team. Thomas and Condoleeza Rice against Jackson and Sharpton. That would kick some serious butt. Unfortunately as dirty as the latter pair fight it might be tough to beat them.

Maybe Fab can come up with some Sculpey cage matches for me...If he hasn't used up all of the good will on the Internet I'm sure that Sculpey Jesus and Sculpey Mohammed would do it.

Speaking of which, how about a cage match between Fab and Avitable...

...by eating a Jabenero Pepper.

One of the funniest bloggers I know is Mr Fabulous. He seems like a fairly intelligent guy and can come up with some of the wackiest stuff but of course with my Neanderthal sense of humor I prefer the three stooges type of stuff. You know, "Moe, Larry, Cheese ...Moe, Larry, Cheese!" type of stuff. The Fab never fails to satisfy that for me either. If you haven't eaten in the last couple of hours check out his latest video...

...and then go read his blog, Pointless Drivel.

I thought that Erica might enjoy this...

Oh my god, this is hilarious...

Damn, I can relate to this one. I damn sure didn't make the appointment...